Relief and regret.

So I survived Saturday afternoon.

I didn’t get moved – hoorah! – and I was working with people I get on with very well indeed, both of which cheered me up and which was a relief. And from the sound of the dreadful morning that the others had experienced I am VERY glad I didn’t work the early shift; the aggressive patients were difficult and one of them was so bad they had to phone his family, though I’m glad about that seeing as they have tended to be in denial about how bad he can be. No excuse now. He did calm down when they arrived, though.

It was a weird afteroon for me. I started off going round with one of the nurses, checking that people who are bedbound were comfortable, clean and dry but was then asked to sit with the agressive lady to keep her occupied which meant I could do some admin stuff from my other job on the ward. In the end I also got to clean her fingernails for her – they were very unsavoury which, considering she usually lives in a residential home is a bit worrying. I must have done a good job because she fell asleep while I was doing it. But later, after a long sleep and having had tea things took a turn for the worse. So far, during her stay with us, I had only heard about how she could be but now I got to be on the recieving end. In the end, after she had tried to throw things at me, pushed loads of stuff onto the floor, attempted to over turn the table she was sitting at (but failing because it’s part of a larger structure which is screwed to the floor) and belt me with her walking frame me and one of the nurses took her to her room where she tried to punch my colleague in the face and then bite his arm (he has a toddler, so his reactions are well honed and he avoided injury) and she hissed that she wanted to hurt me the most. Nice.

She remained in her room for approximately 3 minutes before coming out again, so we had to help her back to her previous place (she’s not safe on her feet without assistance) where she suddenly started to scream just an ambulance crew arrived to collect another patient so they could return them to their residential home, which meant we all had to run around gathering stuff together to make sure that the process went as quickly as possible (the ambulance crews have been told that if the hand-over process is going to take any more than 10 minutes they have to abandon it.) . I’m afraid that at this point my patience, which I usually possess in abundance, failed me and I snapped for her to “STOP IT!” She did stop, I have to say, but what I didn’t realise was that the relative of another patient had walked up behind us to witness this and, as I hurried away to help the (very cute) ambulance guys slide the patient from his bed on to their trolley she stooped and said soothingly “don’t worry I’m sure someone will help you soon” which made me feel like an absolute bastard. I’m kind of worried she’ll complain about it having only witnessed one moment from the whole afternoon.

As always I regretted losing my temper. It’s a rare occassion that I lose it and feel totally justified in doing so, and this time it’s haunting me a bit. 99.9999999% of the time I am an understanding and compassionate person but I can’t control that .00001%. That said,  in the 5 and a bit years I’ve been doing this job that’s the first time I’ve snapped like that.

Anyway, it’s now Monday afternoon and I’m sitting on the sofa watching YouTube videos. Drew was already a bit of a YouTube watcher but I am a recent convert and now I’m addicted. I think I like it because without fail all the people who vlog on there (who I watch anyway) seem so genuinly nice, mostly come from pretty normal backgrounds and seem truely surprised that they have become globally famous. That said at least one of them, having been pleasantly accosted in the street by fans, gasped “this is incredible because I’m not even famous.” I think what impresses me most is how many of them have embraced the technology and have created their own businesses and such like, plus they do all their own editing, handle all their own equipment and control all their output themselves. And I like the community that has formed; they have become friends in real life and hang out together even internationally. The Americans attend British meet-ups and vice versa and they stay in each other’s houses and flats. To sum up, it comes down to the “realness” of it all, probably as a reaction to all the artifice of the regular celebrity world. In the same way there are certain what you might call celebs that I like because they don’t seem to take themselves too seriously (which is why I like Kylie Minogue more than Madonna – perhaps it’s an Australian thing.)

So, back in the real world.

Having two days off from work on the trot has been rather nice, especially as I originally thought I was back in this afternoon whereas it’s actually TOMORROW afternoon. Yay me! Drew was off yesterday, too, as he never works on a Sunday,so we spent a very laid-back day catching up with some television, doing some washing and other things that required very little energy.  At 5.30 we drove through town to Mum and Dad’s for tea. The Girls were beside themselves about this as they love my parents’ garden. It’s the only place we go where they can run about freely (well, they can in our garden but it’s less than a third the size of my parents’ one.) Mum had done a chilli which was perfect for a chilly autumn evening.

The only downer was that late on during our visit Lola started to cough. She had been sick in the garden and then spent the rest of the evening eating grass and drinking loads of water. This went on after we went to bed with both Drew and I having to take her downstairs where she drank copious amounts of water and went out into the garden to eat grass. In fact she couldn’t get enough water. At about 5 to 4 I woke up again as Lola scratched at the bedroom door, sat up to put my bedside light on and put my hand out to support myself only to find that she had weed on the bed – only a little bit, but it’s so unlike her to do that. Back she went to the garden, and she was out there for ages and ages before coming back in and running back up to bed. We ended up sleeping on the mattress protector, me with a blanket on and Drew with the duvet cover rolled up so he didn’t get the wet bit on him. Then we all slept like logs until Drew’s alarm went off at FIVE!!

Lola sounded a bit croaky during the morning, but she’s been fine all day other than having a couple of coughs this evening. When I did what we call “poo patrol” this afternoon (clearing up the Girls’ deposits in the garden) I found a large bit of grassy sick as well. I presume Lola’s felt better since bringing all that up.

Sorry about that unsavoury interlude.

Not much else has happened. Watched more YouTube videos, done a shit load of washing and washing up.

Back to work tomorrow. Another late – back come the fears.

That’s it for now.

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